LilyMakesAnAppeal
#1
Ingame Name: Lily

SteamID: STEAM_0:1:10225451

Who Banned You: Collective Upper Staff decision.

Reason For Ban: Toxicity / Harassment of other players

Length of Ban: Indefinite

Reason for Admins to Unban: 

Before I begin this appeal, I would like to ask everyone here to discuss the merits of my unban, and the evidence specifically related to me. I request that everyone stay on topic and give their unbiased opinion on my ban. I cannot control the way that others react, but I’m going to try my best to make sure people don’t feel afraid to post their thoughts here.


With that out of the way, hey guys, how are ya? So as everyone knows by now, I was one of the people who was hit in the recent ban wave. This came as a bit of a shock since I haven’t been very active outside of the community discord server for about a month or so. However, after reviewing everything, I can see why it came to this. I personally have never been one to support toxicity towards another player on the server. For example, In the instances of Trombowen and Cosmic, I didn’t agree with the way that people in my friend group treated them, and even got into arguments with multiple of my friends defending the two. In Batton’s staff application I did not attack others for their opinions on the thread but instead tried to be a mediator as people kept arguing back and forth with each other. My goal was to facilitate productive conversation.


As for my staff application, I don’t know why anyone would think that I would form a personal grudge against them based on their feedback on my application,The main point of me making that application was to get feedback and see what I could improve upon; I knew I wasn’t going to get it. The timing was bad considering the drama that had occurred a couple of days before me posting it. I wanted people to tell me how I could improve because I was genuinely interested in wanting to be staff on the server. WILD and Avi both gave me legitimate criticism that I appreciated, and have been actively working on. Sadly, other people decided to reply to any negative statements about me, which might be why some people were fearful in the first place. It doesn’t matter if you’re friends with someone or disagree with someone's perspective. You should not attack people for their opinions, but discuss with them on why you have a different belief. 


The main factor in these bans  is the “mob mentality” that is present within groups. I hate it, but it seems inescapable at this point, which is frustrating. When I was staff, there was a mob mentality within that. Not really concerning the upper staff at the time, but more so those in the lower ranks being influenced by what the majority thought, and attacking people who would disagree with their notions. While I don’t know if that still happens, I do know that the same thing is evident in my friend group, as well as others. I think that this is something everyone in the community can work on, if we keep having these same problems, it will only get worse. I admittedly do let other people's opinions influence mine, and I’m sure that my opinions do the same thing. It’s impossible to block out entirely other people's thoughts, and everyone will be affected by them in some way or another. I’ve been working on being more aware of that and making decisions based on my thoughts, despite what my friends, or anyone thinks of them.


As possibly seen in some of the screenshots that the admins may have seen, I have my own opinions about others that I try to keep private within my discord, because I don’t want it to cause drama outside of it. I understand now that nothing is truly private, no matter how hard you try and make it. There will always be talking, and if you talk about others then it’s likely that they will hear it, even if you said it in a private setting. My discord server was created about 3 years ago, to have all of my friends in one place so that I could easily talk to them. Some people have questioned why I make it so exclusive. This is because in the past another group of friends that would harass me when the server was public, joining with alts and making server invites for other people on their alts to come in and attack me. That’s the main reason why my server is exclusive, and why I care so much about who is allowed access to it. It’s a personal fear that I have of those people coming back to mess with me, even though it’s been so long. I never meant to make anyone feel unwanted in it's exclusivity, but that was me being ignorant to how others would feel about it without knowing the context as to why I made it this way.


Lastly, as Queef stated in my staff apps’ denial, I will admit that I’m hot headed at times. I like to think of myself as a chill person, but specific things that will set me off really quickly. That is a flaw of mine that I am working on. I still have a lot of growing up to do on my part, and if I could take back the things I said in those heated moments, I definitely would. That doesn’t really matter now though, since we’ve come to this point.

I can’t help but to feel responsible for a lot of this. If I hadn’t come back to this community a couple months ago, my friends probably would not be banned. My discord provided a place at the time for toxicity, at the time I did not see this. After taking time to step back I do now, and I will take steps to prevent anything like this from happening in the future. 


Have you been banned before (Link relevant threads): Nope


Other: I would have posted this sooner, I wanted to wait for the Upper Staff's response thread, though.. so that's why I'm a little late ;;
==================== L i l y =====================
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"Nah, google it up, shitlord."
The world is but a treat, when you're on easy street
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#2
I'll go ahead an +1 a reduction to your ban. I don't know you all too well, but every interaction I've had with you has been a good one. However I do know not everyone's interaction with you has been good. But we're all human and make mistakes, nobody's perfect after all. It looks like you do acknowledge your wrong-doings, and that to me is a good sign.
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#3
+1 I'm not quiet sure on all your interactions with people, but your most recent staff app interactions were nice and respectful imo and you seemed fine when i ran into you on another server. You are claiming you don't want bring any toxicity and talking about wanting to improve yourself which is a + imo. GL
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#4
I really want to give you another chance, I do but I don't want to see you within this community again just yet. The group you created was not fun, it wasn't nice and I don't really trust that you won't make yet another group like that. It made it difficult to hang out and play with friends, not only from my standpoint but it made it difficult for others as well. 

For now, -1.
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Nothing happened here.
#5
As much as I want to believe in your apology, it seems to be the same ol song with you over and over again. You apologized to me personally because of your actions in the past, but you turned around and did the same thing but this time with a different group. I personally can't see this ending up any way differently than you starting an issue with a new recycled group of people. I'm sorry but this has to be put to an end.

EDIT: Seems like you had your friends to come give you back up when I gave legit criticism, once again. You attract and are friends with negative individuals who cannot form a sentence without attacking people. You can always judge a person by their friends.

-1
#6
+1 Never had any problem w her or ever seen her genuinely be toxic.
#7
I consider myself a friend of Lily's and may be biased in what I say. I'm trying to be objective with my following statement(s) though, so if you choose to read this just keep in mind that what I am saying may be biased in nature.

The way that Lily conducts herself, between her forum posts and in her private discord, lately (for the last 1-2 months) tells me that she is making an effort to improve based on the judgements/criticisms of others (in reference to her staff application). She does tell us pretty regularly to not post on her behalf, in her defense, or in reference to her with any toxicity or aggression, and I don't personally witness any incitement of the hivemind-y behavior that was referenced by the admins (that is not to say the hivemind-y behavior doesn't exist, nor can I say for absolute certain that she doesn't incite anything because I do not follow her around 24/7). I also know that she smoothed over the personal issues she had with Rits, which tells me that she is capable of resolving interpersonal conflicts with people and maintaining a positive relationship with those people afterwards.
On top of these things, Lily is young. 17 is quite young (I'm barely 19 so don't call me out). I know that when I was her age, I made many, many similar mistakes and sometimes worse before that age. This doesn't excuse a thing, and I believe she knows that well enough.

As Lily's friend, I want to see her grow and succeed. This inherently means acknowledging her mistakes and working to improve her behavior and attitude so she doesn't repeat these mistakes. I cannot speak about her past before July of this year, because I was not around, so all the information I may have on that time period is just stories from various people. I am not here to vote, because like I said, I'm biased. I just want her to see her actions, see exactly where she may have done wrong, and using both her own judgement + the judgement of others (REGARDLESS of who these people are, what they say, or how wrong she may think they are) to work on herself. I cannot say for certain that she will be MORE able to improve these things with an unban or reduction, because she does not need to be in this community to work on her personal relationships with people; but being around those who have reservations about her character and her actions may help her to recognize more of her errors and improve. In doing so, it may also improve those people's ability to open up about how they feel if they are hesitant to do so because of a fear of backlash/aggression.

Overall, like I said, I am not voting. I just want to see her improve, and I do see her already taking steps to do so. I can't speak for her past, only for what I have seen recently, but I believe in her ability to grow and learn. She just has to figure out the right way to do it, and I think she is trying.
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#8
There are a lot of things I want to say so I will try to be as consise as possible. Referring back to the conversation in dms we had about your staff app, I mentioned history repeating itself. Before you left the community during your time as staff, your group back then went out of their way to defend you on things, to a point where people didn't want to say anything because of backlash; the same scenario started happening here back when this conversation happened with the "clique" of people I referred to starting to do the same thing by defending you (whether you wanted them to or not). 
My question is why do you want to be back in the community and your intentions because right now I get mixed feelings for what you think of the community. Before your community ban I know you talked about caring about the server but your actions said otherwise, an example being you joining in our ttt server with people from another ttt community that you staff with sharing similar names and saying things against the community knowing what they were doing was wrong, then trying to defend me when someone else was trolling. Its those types of actions that make me question if you care.
Right now I am at a -1 because I dont want to see the same cycle repeating itself and I think there needs to be time before another chance is considered.
Noot Noot ~(^-^)~
#9
+1 for unban for a reason stated in another thread. Seems like she never spearheaded an explicitly organized hivemind of any kind, rather individual disagreements got out of hand and spread around as gossip which lead to drama. Don't shoot a dog when he or she shits on the floor.
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#10
(09-06-2019, 07:20 PM)Burrito Bowl Wrote: As much as I want to believe in your apology, it seems to be the same ol song with you over and over again. You apologized to me personally because of your actions in the past, but you turned around and did the same thing but this time with a different group. I personally can't see this ending up any way differently than you starting an issue with a new recycled group of people. I'm sorry but this has to be put to an end.

EDIT: Seems like you had your friends to come give you back up when I gave legit criticism, once again. You attract and are friends with negative individuals who cannot form a sentence without attacking people. You can always judge a person by their friends.

-1

Actually no she didn't have me come and defend her, she even had an admin delete my post. I can think for myself and have always called bullshit where i see it. You say we can't make a sentence w/o attacking people but you yourself have post after post of you doing just that. Don't be a hypocrite.
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