[Kehne]

What made you realize you were toxic?

That's a complicated thing to answer, I didn't really get up and just "realize" all at once how I was and how I wanted to change it. I would say the true realization I had to make me change was when some conflict arose in my friend circle and led to someone who was quite similar to me (You know him as Winter) cutting ties. I looked at why this happened and what was said, and found a lot of similarities between what he did with me on the receiving end and the things I've done to people previously. It may sound like a suck-up story, but a couple of days looking back on it led to an epiphany, and I found the problem: I was too critical and anal retentive over what other people did, and it led to a buildup of frustration that made me generally pissed off with whatever that person does. You know personally from experience that situation leads to me doing some really stupid and harsh things.

After all of that and a combination of having very few personal friends left, I started slowly trying to be more patient with people and stop putting myself in situations that made me angry and depressed. I slowly changed the news I read, the YouTube creators I watched, and the way I interacted with others to try to get myself to a place where I made actions I was satisfied with instead of making actions out of spite.