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What kind of tree has a hand? A palm tree.
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I usually knock on the fridge door before opening it
Just in case there's a salad dressing
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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
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Here are my contributions to the hilarity that is this thread.
Did you hear about the fight on the train? Two tickets got punched.
Who was the fastest runner in the Bible? Adam, he was the first in the human race.
Who was the straightest man in the Bible? Moses, because pharaoh made a ruler out of him.
I had a job as a night guard at a Samsung store. I kept referring to myself as a Guardian of the Galaxy.
You're welcome.
![[Image: 76561198079899620.png]](http://www.steamsignature.com/card/0/76561198079899620.png)
![[Image: Ban_Dink.jpg]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/237401746920570880/755653539652698132/Ban_Dink.jpg)
![[Image: titan.gif]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/804964599375069225/835657143775395840/titan.gif)
![[Image: honey-they-built-a-hay-maze-over-at-the-...-strip.jpg]](https://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/honey-they-built-a-hay-maze-over-at-the-park-comic-strip.jpg)
![[Image: Screenshot_2016-05-05-17-49-53.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/735975292170141757/751519611299823616/Screenshot_2016-05-05-17-49-53.png)
![[Image: what-did-the-hat-say-to-the-rack-joke-wi...ground.jpg]](https://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/what-did-the-hat-say-to-the-rack-joke-with-laughing-man-as-background.jpg)
