12-30-2020, 12:15 PM
Hello folks! Local fruit here. So, I've been inactive on gmod. It's just one of those things that have happened. No, I'm not burnt out, I just have an interest in playing other games at the moment. However, with that being said, I am going to go ahead and resign from staff. I don't owe an explanation as to why, but I'll give one anyways:
I had to fight to be on the staff team. Regardless of whether you think so or not, it was clear that certain PH staff members were very adamant in not wanting me to be staff. This was evident in the clusterfuck that is my second application. Even whenever I did finally join the team, I felt so out of place, and even found evidence of PH staff openly expressing their dislike towards me. This was a huge blow to my self-confidence. I tried so hard to prove that I had changed and improved as a person, and yet, there were very few who gave me the benefit of the doubt. Some of these staff members have apologized; others have not. This combined with all of the other things that have happened in my life within the past few months have made me lose all motivation to be a helpful staff member. Perhaps this is my fault. Maybe I should have reached out more. But, I truly felt like it wouldn't have made a difference anyways. The "culture" of the PH staff team is something I no longer wish to be apart of. I don't want to spend any more time trying to prove myself to those who will never even give me the chance. It's just the constant feeling of never fitting in, and ultimately, the fight wasn't worth the reward.
With that being said, thank you to the few who did let me prove myself.
@TheUltraFish Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt and hearing my side. You are probably one of the most unbiased people I've met, and you hear both sides of every argument. Thank you for being understanding.
@"B0T ikillyou" By far one of the coolest motherfuckers I know, and a really good friend. You're awesome dude. #B0tForPHAdmin.
@MissPauling Another dope ass person. You reached out to me, and it means more than you know. So thank you for that.
To the others who have always been friendly and welcoming to me, I appreciate you all. Please, don't take this as a call-out against PH staff. Most of them are really cool people, and they know what they're doing. I just don't fit in, and that's okay. My short tenure as trusted is finally wrapped up.
I had to fight to be on the staff team. Regardless of whether you think so or not, it was clear that certain PH staff members were very adamant in not wanting me to be staff. This was evident in the clusterfuck that is my second application. Even whenever I did finally join the team, I felt so out of place, and even found evidence of PH staff openly expressing their dislike towards me. This was a huge blow to my self-confidence. I tried so hard to prove that I had changed and improved as a person, and yet, there were very few who gave me the benefit of the doubt. Some of these staff members have apologized; others have not. This combined with all of the other things that have happened in my life within the past few months have made me lose all motivation to be a helpful staff member. Perhaps this is my fault. Maybe I should have reached out more. But, I truly felt like it wouldn't have made a difference anyways. The "culture" of the PH staff team is something I no longer wish to be apart of. I don't want to spend any more time trying to prove myself to those who will never even give me the chance. It's just the constant feeling of never fitting in, and ultimately, the fight wasn't worth the reward.
With that being said, thank you to the few who did let me prove myself.
@TheUltraFish Thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt and hearing my side. You are probably one of the most unbiased people I've met, and you hear both sides of every argument. Thank you for being understanding.
@"B0T ikillyou" By far one of the coolest motherfuckers I know, and a really good friend. You're awesome dude. #B0tForPHAdmin.
@MissPauling Another dope ass person. You reached out to me, and it means more than you know. So thank you for that.
To the others who have always been friendly and welcoming to me, I appreciate you all. Please, don't take this as a call-out against PH staff. Most of them are really cool people, and they know what they're doing. I just don't fit in, and that's okay. My short tenure as trusted is finally wrapped up.
![[Image: image0_2.jpg]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/756506623899336718/769805294255341619/image0_2.jpg)
![[Image: giphy.gif?cid=790b7611aefbf09e110e07fa9d...y.gif&ct=g]](https://media1.giphy.com/media/lEuqyxAjUgngTz86P5/giphy.gif?cid=790b7611aefbf09e110e07fa9d358dee7bf2c00f26ed598a&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
![[Image: v9YYJOA.jpeg]](https://i.imgur.com/v9YYJOA.jpeg)
