07-14-2025, 02:38 AM
Steam Name: NO NAME
Steam I.D: 76561199089421034
Your Discord Username: ___noname
Your Discord User ID: 377294807279599616
Reason For Ban: Harassment (Towards female in particular)
Length of Minimum Appeal Time (If given): 1 year
Reason for Admins to Unban: I want to be able to have another chance in this community, and to prove that I am not the same person I was. Even if it is just a time reduction, I am ok with anything. My word doesnt mean much anymore but I hope that can potentially change if I am given another oppourtunity.
Have you been banned before anywhere in the community (Link relevant threads): No
Other Information:
I apologize in advance if this is super long and all, but I just need to let out some thoughts about my whole situation last year. Firstly, I wont say the name of the victim of my harassment and overall weird as fuck behavior (I dont know if they are active in this community anymore) but I cannot express how sorry I am for the way I acted. I tried blaming everything I ever said or felt about them. I am truly grateful that me and her are on better terms now and that she was somehow able to even talk with me and let somewhat accept my apology. It took me months to face her and say how shitty I was. I am embarrassed and dissapointed in myself for being scared to apologize and take accountability for my actions and words. I knew there was no point in making a ban request or anything around that time despite the 1 year minimum appeal time. I knew in my heart I was guily of everything and I knew I deserved to be rightfully punished. Yet I embellished stuff she said to me to make myself look better to my friends in this server, for fear of losing them. I tried taking accountability but every single time I'd say how sorry I was, I shifted the blame onto her for something. Even though it never was her fault. And I agree with that whole group unfriending me.
I was so desperate for attention and people to like me. Or in the case of her, love me. I had so many personal issues going on in my life and I never once accepted her advice or acted on it. I tried to tell myself I was fine when for multiple years I wasnt. I got fired from my job in 2023 and lied to everyone I was working cause it made myself feel better about the whole situation, and was drinking so much it was not only effecting my own mental health but more importantly; was hurting others that didnt deserve any of it. I had so many people, Potato, Norm, Bird etc. that I was friends with at the time tell me when I was too fucked up or that I need to stop drinking. But I never did. Cause in my head people only liked me when I was drunk, and I used that as an excuse to act like a piece of shit to all the people that were my friends. Some of which for multiple years. I should have listened to you all, gotten help and left when I made multiple farewell posts. I had a massive drinking and substance problem which I passed off for so long, and it led to me saying some of the worst and most vile shit. And most of it was when I wasnt drinking either.
For months I blamed all my shit on alcohol, even now when I've been sober for about 6 months or so. I thought that cause I was sober, I was cured and it was the alcohol's fault when in reality alcohol just made me act like an even worse version of myself. Ever since I went to a therapist it made me realize that the stuff I was saying, to both my friends and especially her, was fucking weird and I cant even imagine how uncomfortable she mustve felt. Again, she is a much better person then I am and I cant express how much of a good person she is for even listening to the bullshit excuses I made and giving me another chance. I've been on a bunch of medications for my mental state, and I shouldve gone through behavioral therapy years ago. Even just things like getting outside, I wouldnt do it as much. I just wanted to feel sorry for myself and have others feel sorry for me, cause of some shit that happen to me of my own actions.
I also owe bird, norm, potato, ryan, august, big sad, and every single person I considered a good friend the biggest apology and I just hope you can forgive me for not only letting you all down, but filling you all with lies and excuses. I hope you can believe me when I say I am not that person anymore and am finally happy with myself, but I still think about what I did. I was lucky to have you guys as friends, I took all of that for granted and I deserve everything that happened to me. And to anyone else that knew me or saw me around in game nights, I owe you an apology too. I definitely offended people with some thing I said while beyond drunk. And honestly I made so many over the line jokes when I was sober too. Despite all the drama that happened last year, you guys really are the best community I've ever been a part of and I am making an appeal if thats possible. I dont care how many restrictions you have to put on me or keep me under watch, whatever it is i am 100% on board with. If you dont accept, I understand even if it hurts. But regardless I had to at least apologize publicly to all the people I fucked over. I hope you all can give me one more chance, and I really do appreciate all the shit my friends gave me after what happened, even if I got angry about it at the time. I needed that to grow and just soak in the shit I dug myself into. I wish you all the best.
Steam I.D: 76561199089421034
Your Discord Username: ___noname
Your Discord User ID: 377294807279599616
Reason For Ban: Harassment (Towards female in particular)
Length of Minimum Appeal Time (If given): 1 year
Reason for Admins to Unban: I want to be able to have another chance in this community, and to prove that I am not the same person I was. Even if it is just a time reduction, I am ok with anything. My word doesnt mean much anymore but I hope that can potentially change if I am given another oppourtunity.
Have you been banned before anywhere in the community (Link relevant threads): No
Other Information:
I apologize in advance if this is super long and all, but I just need to let out some thoughts about my whole situation last year. Firstly, I wont say the name of the victim of my harassment and overall weird as fuck behavior (I dont know if they are active in this community anymore) but I cannot express how sorry I am for the way I acted. I tried blaming everything I ever said or felt about them. I am truly grateful that me and her are on better terms now and that she was somehow able to even talk with me and let somewhat accept my apology. It took me months to face her and say how shitty I was. I am embarrassed and dissapointed in myself for being scared to apologize and take accountability for my actions and words. I knew there was no point in making a ban request or anything around that time despite the 1 year minimum appeal time. I knew in my heart I was guily of everything and I knew I deserved to be rightfully punished. Yet I embellished stuff she said to me to make myself look better to my friends in this server, for fear of losing them. I tried taking accountability but every single time I'd say how sorry I was, I shifted the blame onto her for something. Even though it never was her fault. And I agree with that whole group unfriending me.
I was so desperate for attention and people to like me. Or in the case of her, love me. I had so many personal issues going on in my life and I never once accepted her advice or acted on it. I tried to tell myself I was fine when for multiple years I wasnt. I got fired from my job in 2023 and lied to everyone I was working cause it made myself feel better about the whole situation, and was drinking so much it was not only effecting my own mental health but more importantly; was hurting others that didnt deserve any of it. I had so many people, Potato, Norm, Bird etc. that I was friends with at the time tell me when I was too fucked up or that I need to stop drinking. But I never did. Cause in my head people only liked me when I was drunk, and I used that as an excuse to act like a piece of shit to all the people that were my friends. Some of which for multiple years. I should have listened to you all, gotten help and left when I made multiple farewell posts. I had a massive drinking and substance problem which I passed off for so long, and it led to me saying some of the worst and most vile shit. And most of it was when I wasnt drinking either.
For months I blamed all my shit on alcohol, even now when I've been sober for about 6 months or so. I thought that cause I was sober, I was cured and it was the alcohol's fault when in reality alcohol just made me act like an even worse version of myself. Ever since I went to a therapist it made me realize that the stuff I was saying, to both my friends and especially her, was fucking weird and I cant even imagine how uncomfortable she mustve felt. Again, she is a much better person then I am and I cant express how much of a good person she is for even listening to the bullshit excuses I made and giving me another chance. I've been on a bunch of medications for my mental state, and I shouldve gone through behavioral therapy years ago. Even just things like getting outside, I wouldnt do it as much. I just wanted to feel sorry for myself and have others feel sorry for me, cause of some shit that happen to me of my own actions.
I also owe bird, norm, potato, ryan, august, big sad, and every single person I considered a good friend the biggest apology and I just hope you can forgive me for not only letting you all down, but filling you all with lies and excuses. I hope you can believe me when I say I am not that person anymore and am finally happy with myself, but I still think about what I did. I was lucky to have you guys as friends, I took all of that for granted and I deserve everything that happened to me. And to anyone else that knew me or saw me around in game nights, I owe you an apology too. I definitely offended people with some thing I said while beyond drunk. And honestly I made so many over the line jokes when I was sober too. Despite all the drama that happened last year, you guys really are the best community I've ever been a part of and I am making an appeal if thats possible. I dont care how many restrictions you have to put on me or keep me under watch, whatever it is i am 100% on board with. If you dont accept, I understand even if it hurts. But regardless I had to at least apologize publicly to all the people I fucked over. I hope you all can give me one more chance, and I really do appreciate all the shit my friends gave me after what happened, even if I got angry about it at the time. I needed that to grow and just soak in the shit I dug myself into. I wish you all the best.