10-26-2022, 12:01 AM
Hello,
First, I want to say that I haven't been avoiding this thread. I haven't been home since 2 PM and I'm just now sitting down to respond.
Starting with your first screenshot, ptk said the word "tran*y" in voice chat. I haven't heard that word in probably 10 years or more, and my only memory with the word is a kid in middle school saying it. So when ptk said it, I didn't know if it was a slur or not. Ignorance is not a valid reason to not warn someone. Once you said that ptk slurred, I used a modicum of common sense, and figured that if Kaiwan is saying it's a slur, it's probably a slur, and warned him for slurring. I don't recall ptk saying anything else in voice or text chat. If anyone has proof of ptk saying anything else, I will be more than willing to be held accountable for my inaction.
Moving on to the second and third screenshots, I was alive when fanta made those comments in dead chat. But once you asked if "this was ok to say??" I gave fanta a verbal/textual warning. I want to dive a little deeper into fanta's message. When I read the message last night, I read it as fanta talking directly to Kaiwan: "you [referring to Kaiwan] cant even throat fuck Kaiwan, your [Kaiwan's] dick is going to get stuck in his [other player's] adam's apple." I thought that fanta was making a joke that didn't land well, which is why I was, admittedly, lax in my warning to fanta and did not reach out to you or AWarn fanta. You're known to make jokes, and people often make jokes with you, so I thought this was another joking session. I was wrong. In addition to verbally warning fanta, I should have acknowledged the message you sent in admin chat by saying something along the lines of, "Hey Kaiwan, I saw your message in admin chat and verbally warned fanta. Let me know if fanta keeps saying stuff to you." For that, I apologize. Anecdotally, there was a time when tiefling posted a message in admin chat about someone needing a ban for mass RDMing. Rather than acknowledging the message, I continued to take screenshots of the logs in case the player posted a ban appeal. It wasn't until tiefling private messaged me that I responded to them. I say that to say, if I don't respond to you, it's not because I'm ignoring you. Most times, I'm taking a screenshot or doing something else for proof. I will work on responding to players more quickly so that they know that they are not being ignored.
In the fourth screenshot, it looks like the screenshot was taken on Simple Dink's. To my knowledge, I was not alive when fanta and you sent those messages in that screenshot. I'm not sure of the exact time the messages were sent, but based on the scroll bar and lack of messages after fanta's last message, it looks like fanta sent the message on Simple Dink's. I went back through the old logs from last night and found that you and I were only dead together twice in the six rounds that were played. And the second time we were dead together (the sixth round), once I died, I disconnected from the server. Of course, these timestamps don't take into account one of us dying after the round ends, and fanta and you going back and forth during the round end period. But I didn't see, and don't recall, those messages being sent during the round end period. Again, if I'm wrong about that, I will take accountability for my inaction.
The fifth screenshot looks like it was taken on Orange_v7, I could be wrong. Either way, I was not on the server after Simple Dink's.
One thing that I find a tad bit confusing in all of this is that after fanta sent the message, and you told us that he sent the message in admin chat, there's was friendly banter between you and us. I would say that you talked to me and chibill as you would normally talk to us multiple times after fanta sent those messages, and you were bantering with slater as you normally would, so I thought all was fine. If I thought that people in a position of power were actively ignoring me and my claims of harassment, I wouldn't talk to them, let alone banter with them (thank you chibill for recording as you always do). Another thing that I found weird was that you only sent one message (to my knowledge) in admin chat about fanta's message. If I were harassed, I would like to believe that I would make more than one attempt at getting someone's attention to let them know that I was being harassed. Not send one message and move on like nothing ever happened. I know that everyone is different, but still. This is not an attempt to excuse me not reaching out to you.
To conclude, and to repeat something that I always say, I want everyone on this server, from Guest to Owner, to have a good time while they are on the server. This isn't something that I say just to say, or say to sound like a good staff member or whatever. As corny as it may sound, I take pride in my staffing abilities. I take pride in knowing that in my six years of staffing this server, I have not made any major mistakes or had any major accusations lodged against me. I take pride in knowing that people in the community feel comfortable enough coming to me when they have an issue because I do the things necessary to rectify the problem. I've had plenty of abuse reports thrown my way, but this one hurts. Anyone who knows me (as well as someone can know someone on the Internet) knows that I treat every player with the same amount of respect, professionalism, and dignity. I have no favorite players; I may think someone is cool or friendly, but I don't staff one player differently than another. This may not be the most opportune time for this, but it really upsets me when people sit on harassment and then make a forum post without talking to staff (not the case in this situation). I ask that anyone who feels harassed be persistent and firm in seeing through that their concerns are properly addressed. What I, or any other staff member, may think is a joke may not be a joke to you. If one staff member isn't handling your concern in a way you think is sufficient, take it to another staff member or directly to an Admin. And keep fighting for your concerns until they are properly addressed. No one should be harassed out of this community. Do mistakes happen? Absolutely. But this community has lasted this long because it is a friendly and open community where complaints of harassment are handled.
Kaiwan, my actions (or lack thereof) were not enough to properly rectify this incident. For that, I sincerely apologize. Mistakes were made in my handling of this situation, and I will do better in the future. Not just for you, but for all players. I want you to know that my opinion of you (not that I necessarily had one to begin with) will not change because of this post; I won't treat you any differently because of this post. I appreciate that you believe that I am a capable member of the staff team, and I apologize for not meeting your expectations. I can't speak for chibill or slater, but I would like to believe that they feel the same way as I do. They are great staff members and would not intentionally ignore harassment of any kind.
It's 1:00 AM and I've been working on this response for almost four hours. I'm going to bed. Admins, if action needs to be taken against me for my role in this incident, I accept.
Thank you.
First, I want to say that I haven't been avoiding this thread. I haven't been home since 2 PM and I'm just now sitting down to respond.
Starting with your first screenshot, ptk said the word "tran*y" in voice chat. I haven't heard that word in probably 10 years or more, and my only memory with the word is a kid in middle school saying it. So when ptk said it, I didn't know if it was a slur or not. Ignorance is not a valid reason to not warn someone. Once you said that ptk slurred, I used a modicum of common sense, and figured that if Kaiwan is saying it's a slur, it's probably a slur, and warned him for slurring. I don't recall ptk saying anything else in voice or text chat. If anyone has proof of ptk saying anything else, I will be more than willing to be held accountable for my inaction.
Moving on to the second and third screenshots, I was alive when fanta made those comments in dead chat. But once you asked if "this was ok to say??" I gave fanta a verbal/textual warning. I want to dive a little deeper into fanta's message. When I read the message last night, I read it as fanta talking directly to Kaiwan: "you [referring to Kaiwan] cant even throat fuck Kaiwan, your [Kaiwan's] dick is going to get stuck in his [other player's] adam's apple." I thought that fanta was making a joke that didn't land well, which is why I was, admittedly, lax in my warning to fanta and did not reach out to you or AWarn fanta. You're known to make jokes, and people often make jokes with you, so I thought this was another joking session. I was wrong. In addition to verbally warning fanta, I should have acknowledged the message you sent in admin chat by saying something along the lines of, "Hey Kaiwan, I saw your message in admin chat and verbally warned fanta. Let me know if fanta keeps saying stuff to you." For that, I apologize. Anecdotally, there was a time when tiefling posted a message in admin chat about someone needing a ban for mass RDMing. Rather than acknowledging the message, I continued to take screenshots of the logs in case the player posted a ban appeal. It wasn't until tiefling private messaged me that I responded to them. I say that to say, if I don't respond to you, it's not because I'm ignoring you. Most times, I'm taking a screenshot or doing something else for proof. I will work on responding to players more quickly so that they know that they are not being ignored.
In the fourth screenshot, it looks like the screenshot was taken on Simple Dink's. To my knowledge, I was not alive when fanta and you sent those messages in that screenshot. I'm not sure of the exact time the messages were sent, but based on the scroll bar and lack of messages after fanta's last message, it looks like fanta sent the message on Simple Dink's. I went back through the old logs from last night and found that you and I were only dead together twice in the six rounds that were played. And the second time we were dead together (the sixth round), once I died, I disconnected from the server. Of course, these timestamps don't take into account one of us dying after the round ends, and fanta and you going back and forth during the round end period. But I didn't see, and don't recall, those messages being sent during the round end period. Again, if I'm wrong about that, I will take accountability for my inaction.
- Round 1: you died 50 seconds into the round. I did not die that round
- Round 2: I died 13 seconds into the round. You were innocent and did not die that round
- Round 3: I died 1 minute, 5 seconds into the round. You were a traitor and did not die that round
- Round 4: I died 16 seconds into the round. You were innocent and did not die that round
- Round 5: you died 1 minute, 55 seconds into the round. I died (to fanta) 2 minutes, 42 seconds into the round. fanta did not die that round.
- Round 6: you died 12 seconds into the round. I died 28 seconds into the round. After dying, I disconnected from the server
- The next round of the next map, I was not connected to the server
The fifth screenshot looks like it was taken on Orange_v7, I could be wrong. Either way, I was not on the server after Simple Dink's.
One thing that I find a tad bit confusing in all of this is that after fanta sent the message, and you told us that he sent the message in admin chat, there's was friendly banter between you and us. I would say that you talked to me and chibill as you would normally talk to us multiple times after fanta sent those messages, and you were bantering with slater as you normally would, so I thought all was fine. If I thought that people in a position of power were actively ignoring me and my claims of harassment, I wouldn't talk to them, let alone banter with them (thank you chibill for recording as you always do). Another thing that I found weird was that you only sent one message (to my knowledge) in admin chat about fanta's message. If I were harassed, I would like to believe that I would make more than one attempt at getting someone's attention to let them know that I was being harassed. Not send one message and move on like nothing ever happened. I know that everyone is different, but still. This is not an attempt to excuse me not reaching out to you.
To conclude, and to repeat something that I always say, I want everyone on this server, from Guest to Owner, to have a good time while they are on the server. This isn't something that I say just to say, or say to sound like a good staff member or whatever. As corny as it may sound, I take pride in my staffing abilities. I take pride in knowing that in my six years of staffing this server, I have not made any major mistakes or had any major accusations lodged against me. I take pride in knowing that people in the community feel comfortable enough coming to me when they have an issue because I do the things necessary to rectify the problem. I've had plenty of abuse reports thrown my way, but this one hurts. Anyone who knows me (as well as someone can know someone on the Internet) knows that I treat every player with the same amount of respect, professionalism, and dignity. I have no favorite players; I may think someone is cool or friendly, but I don't staff one player differently than another. This may not be the most opportune time for this, but it really upsets me when people sit on harassment and then make a forum post without talking to staff (not the case in this situation). I ask that anyone who feels harassed be persistent and firm in seeing through that their concerns are properly addressed. What I, or any other staff member, may think is a joke may not be a joke to you. If one staff member isn't handling your concern in a way you think is sufficient, take it to another staff member or directly to an Admin. And keep fighting for your concerns until they are properly addressed. No one should be harassed out of this community. Do mistakes happen? Absolutely. But this community has lasted this long because it is a friendly and open community where complaints of harassment are handled.
Kaiwan, my actions (or lack thereof) were not enough to properly rectify this incident. For that, I sincerely apologize. Mistakes were made in my handling of this situation, and I will do better in the future. Not just for you, but for all players. I want you to know that my opinion of you (not that I necessarily had one to begin with) will not change because of this post; I won't treat you any differently because of this post. I appreciate that you believe that I am a capable member of the staff team, and I apologize for not meeting your expectations. I can't speak for chibill or slater, but I would like to believe that they feel the same way as I do. They are great staff members and would not intentionally ignore harassment of any kind.
It's 1:00 AM and I've been working on this response for almost four hours. I'm going to bed. Admins, if action needs to be taken against me for my role in this incident, I accept.
Thank you.
