12-02-2023, 02:21 AM
It's gonna seem quite odd making another resignation as I made one just a month ago, which entirely makes sense. But for some odd reason I convinced myself to return not even a few days later as it just felt nice to interact and fuck around with most of you all here, ttt and PH.
I think my mental state has deterioriated to the point where no matter what I do, I cannot stay happy for long and most things are just a distraction for me. I understand I am quite hard to deal with sometimes, especially as it is quite hard for me to interact with people and remember important details in conversations.
The main reason I am making this post is because I hit my limit just now. Without going into much detail, I found out my father has fallen ill and I don't really know how he is doing at the moment. Guess he is having heart problems and severe high blood pressure. I just cannot imagine life without him. I want to assume he is ok, but being optimistic is quite rare for a pessimist like myself. If that is a bit too personal for some people I genuinely apologize. I just needed somewhere to vent and I know a lot of you all here.
Also, I think a lot of people know I drink on the server. And quite a lot at times. Sometimes I feel as if I use it as a way to cope but it's not a healthy mechanism for my overall wellbeing. Even while drunk I try my best to stay within the rules and occasionally I get that I make people annoyed. I take full responsibility for anything I have done whilst drunk, it was my choice to drink and say things. Even if it doesn't happen much at all. People who drink a lot and use alcohol as an excuse for their foul actions frankly disgust me.
I just need to actually help myself, and most importantly I need to be there for my dad. I'm not really sure what to do right now. I've mainly just given up and don't care. I hate to be this pessimistic and all but it's the truth. I'm just done.
Appreciate everyone who has been kind to me and been there for me throughout the years. Might be active on the forums here and there. But I just can't do this anymore. I just need to fucking do something about all this.
Hope to see you all again soon. Take care.
I think my mental state has deterioriated to the point where no matter what I do, I cannot stay happy for long and most things are just a distraction for me. I understand I am quite hard to deal with sometimes, especially as it is quite hard for me to interact with people and remember important details in conversations.
The main reason I am making this post is because I hit my limit just now. Without going into much detail, I found out my father has fallen ill and I don't really know how he is doing at the moment. Guess he is having heart problems and severe high blood pressure. I just cannot imagine life without him. I want to assume he is ok, but being optimistic is quite rare for a pessimist like myself. If that is a bit too personal for some people I genuinely apologize. I just needed somewhere to vent and I know a lot of you all here.
Also, I think a lot of people know I drink on the server. And quite a lot at times. Sometimes I feel as if I use it as a way to cope but it's not a healthy mechanism for my overall wellbeing. Even while drunk I try my best to stay within the rules and occasionally I get that I make people annoyed. I take full responsibility for anything I have done whilst drunk, it was my choice to drink and say things. Even if it doesn't happen much at all. People who drink a lot and use alcohol as an excuse for their foul actions frankly disgust me.
I just need to actually help myself, and most importantly I need to be there for my dad. I'm not really sure what to do right now. I've mainly just given up and don't care. I hate to be this pessimistic and all but it's the truth. I'm just done.
Appreciate everyone who has been kind to me and been there for me throughout the years. Might be active on the forums here and there. But I just can't do this anymore. I just need to fucking do something about all this.
Hope to see you all again soon. Take care.