03-27-2024, 09:01 AM
"Example: My boss comes to me and has a conversation regarding my tardiness. My boss tells me that I have been late 5 times in the last month and that further tardiness will result in me being fired. They intended to inform me that I would lose my job if I didn't begin showing up on time. I hear this message and interpret it as them telling me that I am lazy and not a good worker. The impact it made on me is that they think I'm lazy and can't do my job correctly."
Maybe I'm just autistic but this doesn't seem like a good example? It doesn't really work in your points favor. The impact it made on you will absolutely affect you more than the stated intent, and will probably backfire. You even say this by saying you interpret the message as a personal offense to you instead of just, understanding you should be on time. If you really interpreted that that way, you will have to wrestle with this insecurity in the future, whether you get fired or not. If you are particularly sensitive (not judging that) this could seriously impact your performance And your view on life. Japan's struggles with work life balance are a clear indicator of that, for a very serious real life example you can find a Ton of academic research easily.
If your boss unironically said, "You need to stop being late you lazy loser", you would assume you could be fired and you would probably feel upset at this treatment. Their intent could be to hurt your feelings, or it could just be to give you a small kick in the pants to get you back on track. What it's likely caused is for you to start looking for another job. This is why Intent is less important imho because it's a variable that doesnt affect the system. They could just not say it, they could not have a real intent, and they could also be flat out lying about their intent. The impact they had is definite and undeniable, it is Unchanged by the intent. That's why when we are children we are taught to apologize for hurting our siblings or friends on accident; they still got hurt even if we didn't mean to hurt them.
A further example: I make a claim to commit an illegal act as a joke. My intent was to make someone laugh. The impact is I get arrested. I could argue my case in court but I still made the claim and made someone afraid enough to have me arrested, despite my intent to entertain.
There's a famous quote that sums up years of people having this exact discussion well; "The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions." A quote I would be surprised if literally Anyone hasn't heard before.
Disclaimer: not attacking anyone! Just felt like the example you provided, Bryanbrr, wasn't an accurate example for furthering the discussion. It just didn't connect the dots between real life and your point. No worries if this isn't mindchanging stuff, but I hope this adds to the discussion amicably.
Maybe I'm just autistic but this doesn't seem like a good example? It doesn't really work in your points favor. The impact it made on you will absolutely affect you more than the stated intent, and will probably backfire. You even say this by saying you interpret the message as a personal offense to you instead of just, understanding you should be on time. If you really interpreted that that way, you will have to wrestle with this insecurity in the future, whether you get fired or not. If you are particularly sensitive (not judging that) this could seriously impact your performance And your view on life. Japan's struggles with work life balance are a clear indicator of that, for a very serious real life example you can find a Ton of academic research easily.
If your boss unironically said, "You need to stop being late you lazy loser", you would assume you could be fired and you would probably feel upset at this treatment. Their intent could be to hurt your feelings, or it could just be to give you a small kick in the pants to get you back on track. What it's likely caused is for you to start looking for another job. This is why Intent is less important imho because it's a variable that doesnt affect the system. They could just not say it, they could not have a real intent, and they could also be flat out lying about their intent. The impact they had is definite and undeniable, it is Unchanged by the intent. That's why when we are children we are taught to apologize for hurting our siblings or friends on accident; they still got hurt even if we didn't mean to hurt them.
A further example: I make a claim to commit an illegal act as a joke. My intent was to make someone laugh. The impact is I get arrested. I could argue my case in court but I still made the claim and made someone afraid enough to have me arrested, despite my intent to entertain.
There's a famous quote that sums up years of people having this exact discussion well; "The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions." A quote I would be surprised if literally Anyone hasn't heard before.
Disclaimer: not attacking anyone! Just felt like the example you provided, Bryanbrr, wasn't an accurate example for furthering the discussion. It just didn't connect the dots between real life and your point. No worries if this isn't mindchanging stuff, but I hope this adds to the discussion amicably.
<3 :3