[bab]

My concern for the application though comes from some of the interactions that have occurred over the past few days and specifically, your reaction and comments to the allegations brought against Battons. 

I think one thing that has been clear over these past few days is that full evidence needs to be brought forward before staff should act in making any sort of decision or assumption about a player. It disheartened me to see that you took the jump and made the same serious allegations against battons without full evidence. Something simple like an rdm on TTT is one thing but, the allegations and comments made in this case could've had real consequences. With how close this role operates with upper staff, I believe a higher level of discretion and curiosity around evidence and claims against players is needed before you can take the step into the web mod position.

Hi Bryan! Thanks for reaching out before posting this earlier, it was lovely getting to catch up with you. I 100% understand and respect your view here on this situation and how I handled it, and I also appreciate your other comments about me. Those mean a lot to me, so thank you for that too!

I agree with what you've written here, I seriously dropped the ball in a very serious situation that could've had real consequences on someone else's place in the community and more importantly, their actual life. And that's not something that should've ever happened.

While I am incredibly sensitive to these situations due to personal reasons, as I've thought more about my behavior during this situation the past few days, it's clear to me that I should've taken a step back, let myself calm down, and reached out or even waited for more information on the situation instead of immediately taking the evidence for it at complete face value and reacting while upset about what I had believed to be the truth at the time publicly, and that's my fault entirely.

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This situation being discussed here has also made me realize my major oversight of reaching out to those I had lashed out at to take accountability and apologize for the ways I behaved towards them, and with that, I believe I owe a few people an apology for my behavior during this entire situation, and I hope that it's okay that I do so here;

(Here is a link for anyone lacking context that includes the majority of my messages/responses during the situation https://imgur.com/a/VR0dQvr)

To Bryan and Icey,

I am truly sorry that you both took the brunt of my responses here. You were both merely trying to gather more information during an incredibly chaotic time in the chat about the situation that had just been made public. And in my incredibly upset head at that time, I believed that you were both doing this in a way that was disingenuous and in bad faith, after looking back and re-reading the messages, I no longer believe this to be the case.

To put it plainly, my behavior in this situation towards you both was immature, antagonistic, and unwarranted. That is not how I'd like to conduct myself in the slightest, not only as a staff member in the community but as a person in general. I am an adult who should've been more responsible in the handling of my own emotions, no matter how upset I was, and my immediate response should not have been to lash out at both of you and for that, I sincerely apologize.

To Battons,

We've discussed this and worked this out in far more detail privately, so I shall leave a majority of this part private in our messages, but I would like to put it on record publicly, that I am genuinely sorry for my involvement in this situation.

I was severely wrong in my handling of and reaction to an incredibly serious accusation against you, and that could've had dire consequences on you had the truth of the situation not come to light.

That was not a small mistake in the slightest, it was a very clear huge lack of judgment and reason on my part, and for that, I am truly, truly sorry.

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I know that apologies do not fix the damage that's already done, however, I do feel that these were necessary.

I am still serious about my application here, and this hasn't discouraged me, instead, it has encouraged me to continue to work on myself, I am always striving to grow as a human being, and this situation is definitely not something that I am proud of and have done lots of self-reflection on.

With that said, going forward, I will be taking my time when it comes to forming a full opinion and reacting to situations like these to prevent something like this from happening again.

I hope, regardless of the outcome of this application, that I can prove that I can and will do better, to you and anyone else who shares these same concerns here, Bryan.

Thank you again for your response, and if there is any needed clarification on anything here, or anyone else would like to reach out and discuss this or anything else with me further, please do so on Discord (you'll have to send me a friend request, I believe) and I'd be more than happy to oblige. ♡︎