[Dildo Shwaggins]

-1'ing someone who is giving you pretty solid suggestions and feedback on your app isn't really a good look. Also, it makes me think that there could be some difficulties handling criticism you could get while staffing so I'm gonna be at a -1

*snip*

"this raises is your ability to impartially staff in high-stress situations, because frankly, the only people who will care about any of your feelings during a situation might possibly be people you consider yourself friends/acquaintances with on the server. Random guest RDMers, minge groups, etc. will not care about how you feel or anyone on the server feels, they're gonna cause trouble until they receive consequences for doing so."

"I think you know the rules and can at some point be good staff down the line, but taking constructive criticism is going to be necessary if you're going to want to grow and improve as a staff member if you get approved."

-snip-

It's pretty clear shitty experiences on this topic have caused you a great deal of trauma and resentment, not necessarily towards any person or group in particular, but in relation to the issues at hand. To address your point on ignoring or deflecting criticism, I don't believe it's that you're deflecting or ignoring it here. Rather, I think what is happening here is you're construing the criticisms given to you as personal attacks and responding in turn to that perception. As you admit, your ability of processing all of that can be a cause of difficulty and it boils down into being upset about things. That being said, you still share a responsibility in being cognizant of what limitations you have and how they would affect staffing, particularly the part that gets the toughest- staffing staff, regulars, and the people who have more implicit biases (not just handing discipline, but rather cooperation and conflict resolution).

Admittedly, the part about rando minges is kinda irrelevant in hindsight. But ultimately, while I understand that there's more others can do in terms of approaching you in a helpful manner, I don't believe anyone is actively trying to upset you for the sake of upsetting you either. 

It's okay to admit to struggles, be upset, all of that. But it's also your responsibility to address things in yourself and your own known struggles. None of that makes you a bad person or someone incapable of improving. I believe those giving criticism are giving it in what they perceive as in your best interest. Those perceptions in this type of community are always going to have a level of disingenuousness to them- it is a semi-anonymous space on the internet, nobody knows the full, real you. But they'll be based off what they see and hear from the possible interactions.