03-27-2024, 07:09 AM
Hi Embery!
I think that this an important post that shares the need to recognize the intention in a conversation. Intention is important. I don't necessarily agree with everything stated though. I am always open to being wrong and often am wrong LOL. One thing that I disagree with in your post is the comment of "TLDR The impact you have on others is more important than your intention." To me, intention and impact are as equally important because of the interpretation that happens in between them.
Here an example that should help with what I am saying. (I'm not always clear in writing)
Example: My boss comes to me and has a conversation regarding my tardiness. My boss tells me that I have been late 5 times in the last month and that further tardiness will result in me being fired. They intended to inform me that I would lose my job if I didn't begin showing up on time. I hear this message and interpret it as them telling me that I am lazy and not a good worker. The impact it made on me is that they think I'm lazy and can't do my job correctly.
What's more important here? My interpretation of their message or their intention with the message? To me, they are equally important.
What I believe is important in all of these situations is that both parties listen/seek to understand each other by being curious. I feel as often we just listen to what we want to hear instead of trying to understand what each other is trying to say. One point that I agree with in your post is that if the person they are communicating with begins to roll their eyes or change their body language, they should ask a clarifying question to make sure that there is alignment in the message and the impact it makes. It should be reciprocal though. If I'm hearing the message, I should reflect what i hear to be sure that what i am hearing is correct to mitigate any assumptions of my own. This is my own belief and of course am open to being wrong. I just believe that both items are important and that both parties need to be open to understanding and checking for alignment.
(Sorry for my ted talk post.)
I think that this an important post that shares the need to recognize the intention in a conversation. Intention is important. I don't necessarily agree with everything stated though. I am always open to being wrong and often am wrong LOL. One thing that I disagree with in your post is the comment of "TLDR The impact you have on others is more important than your intention." To me, intention and impact are as equally important because of the interpretation that happens in between them.
Here an example that should help with what I am saying. (I'm not always clear in writing)
Example: My boss comes to me and has a conversation regarding my tardiness. My boss tells me that I have been late 5 times in the last month and that further tardiness will result in me being fired. They intended to inform me that I would lose my job if I didn't begin showing up on time. I hear this message and interpret it as them telling me that I am lazy and not a good worker. The impact it made on me is that they think I'm lazy and can't do my job correctly.
What's more important here? My interpretation of their message or their intention with the message? To me, they are equally important.
What I believe is important in all of these situations is that both parties listen/seek to understand each other by being curious. I feel as often we just listen to what we want to hear instead of trying to understand what each other is trying to say. One point that I agree with in your post is that if the person they are communicating with begins to roll their eyes or change their body language, they should ask a clarifying question to make sure that there is alignment in the message and the impact it makes. It should be reciprocal though. If I'm hearing the message, I should reflect what i hear to be sure that what i am hearing is correct to mitigate any assumptions of my own. This is my own belief and of course am open to being wrong. I just believe that both items are important and that both parties need to be open to understanding and checking for alignment.
(Sorry for my ted talk post.)
![[Image: Bry-Donor-2.gif]](https://i.ibb.co/MG1c1sZ/Bry-Donor-2.gif)
