Let's skip the small talk.

**bob** · (This post was last modified: 08-24-2020, 07:22 PM by bob.)

(08-24-2020, 06:59 PM)saltychapdaddy Wrote: I'm gonna go deep here, as requested:

Personally, I'd like to believe that I have a slight paranoia that has been around ever since I was a young child (it's gotten a lot better since high school, which was when it was at its worst). I've always felt like that I usually am just "dealt with" and talked to "so I can go away" if that makes sense. In other words, I've had constant fear of being surrounded by fake people, so I guess you could call it trust issues? I think the main thing that caused this to happen was an incident that happened when I was 10 that I'm not going into detail about (not something I want to share on the forums) but essentially what happened is I ran to my brother and told him about this incident and he laughed it off and thought I was joking. My guess is that's what made me subconsciously develop some serious trust issues that plagued me in middle and high school. It took college to give me a chance to "reinvent myself" as one of my teachers said college is meant for to get rid most of this fear; however I still sometimes feel like I'm used. It pisses me off but I can't really do anything about it except NOT try and think like that.

Hey I was pretty much the same, took me a couple years to figure out that anxiety was a thing and then my paranoia got classified as social anxiety. Which of course comes with the doubts and trust issues cause all it takes is one bad experience with someone to impact the way you deal with things in the future.
We can't help the way our minds work sometimes, and we don't have control of how others make us feel, but its good that you try to be as optimistic and not think that way. It definitely isn't as easy as it sounds.

(08-24-2020, 07:01 PM)Foxka oops Wrote: I have a phobia of silence

and i guess also the emergency alert system sound, the monotone buzz thing, freaks me the hell out

What about silence scares you?

**Emerak** · 08-24-2020, 07:44 PM

When I was younger i used to be afraid of walking on sidewalks or near cars, because I got ran over at 3rys old and had by right leg bent backwords and over my head,
got a 3rd-degree burn on my wrist and more. It was a very tragic time and impacted my life, up until i was about 14-15 I finally grow out it/stronger
over my fear, and now im here lol that's my deep story i guess.

I know this is probably not what this thread is quite about but hey oh well

~~LexiFox~~

not to sound edgy but im afraid most of being alone in the quiet with just my thoughts to keep me company.
I am also afraid of the dark...but only in my bedroom. I am afraid of thunderstorms but only when I am alone in my home. and im afraid of this weird creature that i see in most of my dreams

but probably my deepest fear is that what i assume to be true is actually true that I am actually just a failure and burden to everyone around and people only talk to me just to be nice and no one actually cares.....

**Cryptic Salsa** · 08-24-2020, 08:00 PM

no real reason but the ocean unless its clear other then that bugs

**Piano1997** · 08-24-2020, 08:02 PM

I think my biggest fear is the unknown. If I'm going into a certain situation that is out of my comfort zone, I have a strong tendency to imagine the worst case scenario happening. Even if I know that scenario is very unlikely to happen or won't happen, the thought of it still scares me.

**Raven**

Im really fucking scared of cockroaches, a lot of years ago on Valentine's Day my sister went to a party and she had a lot of candies so i took some of them, that day for some reason there was an invasion of cockroaches in my house so i had to be careful while eating candy, there was this big son of a bitch right above the door to my room but i tried to enter my room anyway and just as i passed through the door the big son of a bitch fell right on my shoulder and from that day i still can't stand those bitches.

~~Battons~~ · 08-24-2020, 08:48 PM

Personally I've been fighting depression my whole life but two years ago I almost lost the battle and knew that I couldn't just keep pushing it down and pretending it didn't exist. After I started taking meds it helped fix a lot of other issues that were a result of my depresso expresso like constant anger and dehumanizing people. Now I live a pretty happy life and am content with where I am, some days it still bleeds through but most of the times I'm super upbeat. Once I got better mentally I got a girlfriend, left my shitty job, took a risk and moved to a new town. Don't have a morale or want pity or apologies or sincerity, people struggle with this a lot worse than I have. That however is a bit of insight into why I am the way I am.

**bob** · (This post was last modified: 08-24-2020, 09:08 PM by bob.)

(08-24-2020, 07:44 PM)Titan17 Wrote: When I was younger i used to be afraid of walking on sidewalks or near cars, because I got ran over at 3rys old and had by right leg bent backwords and over my head,
got a 3rd-degree burn on my wrist and more. It was a very tragic time and impacted my life, up until i was about 14-15 I finally grow out it/stronger
over my fear, and now im here lol that's my deep story i guess.

I know this is probably not what this thread is quite about but hey oh well

I'm so sorry that happened!! That sounds so traumatizing and happy you're still here with us. And hey, these experiences can totally fall under this thread.

(08-24-2020, 07:49 PM)Lexi Wrote: not to sound edgy but im afraid most of being alone in the quiet with just my thoughts to keep me company.
I am also afraid of the dark...but only in my bedroom. I am afraid of thunderstorms but only when I am alone in my home. and im afraid of this weird creature that i see in most of my dreams

but probably my deepest fear is that what i assume to be true is actually true that I am actually just a failure and burden to everyone around and people only talk to me just to be nice and no one actually cares.....

You don't know me, but I promise no matter what your head likes to tell you about being a burden - that is far from true. And if you feel like the people around you don't care, ask them, let them tell you otherwise. If people say they don't care, drop those people - they aren't with your time. You'll find the people who won't ever make you feel like that. As fake as this may sound, me being a stranger and all, I just wanna say I care, and if you need someone to just say the words, shoot me a message and I'll reassure you every time.

(08-24-2020, 08:02 PM)Piano1997 Wrote: I think my biggest fear is the unknown. If I'm going into a certain situation that is out of my comfort zone, I have a strong tendency to imagine the worst case scenario happening. Even if I know that scenario is very unlikely to happen or won't happen, the thought of it still scares me.

I relate. I'm more of a pessimist and an optimist. The unknown scares the shit out of me, and it can really hold you back from things.

(08-24-2020, 08:48 PM)Battons Wrote: Personally I've been fighting depression my whole life but two years ago I almost lost the battle and knew that I couldn't just keep pushing it down and pretending it didn't exist. After I started taking meds it helped fix a lot of other issues that were a result of my depresso expresso like constant anger and dehumanizing people. Now I live a pretty happy life and am content with where I am, some days it still bleeds through but most of the times I'm super upbeat. Once I got better mentally I got a girlfriend, left my shitty job, took a risk and moved to a new town. Don't have a morale or want pity or apologies or sincerity, people struggle with this a lot worse than I have. That however is a bit of insight into why I am the way I am.

I'm genuinely happy you've made it to this very day and are content with life. It's not possible to ever fully overcome depression, but i'm glad you found your way to fight through it. Also sure, people may have it worse but that doesn't make your struggle any less important.

**Starling** · 08-24-2020, 09:24 PM

Okay, I'm not sure how deep ya want this to go but I'll give it a shot. Maybe it leans more towards paranoia, but my main irrational fear would have to be the fear of my friends turning on me. For the most part I tend to stay away from getting close with people. I'm sure some of ya'll probably think I either dislike you or that I come across cold, but thats mainly because I'm just socially awkward with a lot of trust issues.

long story short-ish: Had an individual get close to me only to use what they learned about me to turn everyone against me.They shared pictures of me in order to create a rumor that I was "lewdy" as well as shared our DMs in order to turn our mutual friends against me, it worked for the most part. The pictures themselves weren't lewdy, It was just a leg pic and a picture of myself in a swimsuit. Most of my friends at the time had already seen em, but she also sent them to people I didn't know. Theres a lot more to this story, I wasn't the only one she wanted gone. What happened to me also happened to two others whom I am now very close friends with so some good did come from all that chaos.

I ended up losing a lot of friends because of how that situation went down, and to this day I am still being harassed by individuals from that community. I just recently had to block one of them because even after a year I am still getting messages ranging from them telling me to jump off a bridge or its an attempt to befriend me again. Ever since, I find it hard to get close with people without thoughts such as "What if they do this" or "What if this happens again" lurking at the back of mind. Its part of the reason why I really only hang within my own discord, its where I am most comfortable. Although its probably all in my head, I just feel more at ease when I'm surrounded by people I've gotten close to over a period of time.

**MissPauling**

OH BOY YES. So I have high depression and high anxiety, which means that I get the great side effect of INSANE PARANOIA and irrational fears. And not like "waaahhh someone doesnt like meeee boooo hooo" paranoia, like nah bish, 'someone' 110% put cameras in my house. So I would have to religiously check all my vents, wall plugs, smoke detectors, EVERYTHING for cameras, even though I know for a FACT that there is nothing there, i just have to check. I cant have someone I don't know touch me, they will stab me with something and give me a disease. I cant have someone sit behind me i dont know in a car, transit, theater, etc., because they will cut my throat. I cant have someone I dont know cut my hair because they will stab me in the eye with scissors, I cant climb chain link fences because the top part will hook under my eyelid. Holy shit I could go on and on and on. Basically i am now super medicated (lmaooo) so its not 'as' bad, but there are still a fuck load of things I cant do because my brain is dumb.

Also, over my 26 years i've found a number of bodys all in different stages, so sometimes smells or sounds really get me.
You're welcome, im insane :)