Dear dinklebergs members,
I want to start off by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my poor humor and how I have acted or lashed out. Whether you accept this apology, it is up to you. I will be taking my leave, as this place is no longer fit for me, and my life is going to be changing for the better. I want a fresh start. This will not be a Pity thread or attack thread. Simply reflect and goodbye thread. So good luck, and try to keep up cause this is gonna be a top tier shitpost of info.
I want to bring to you all how I came to be who I am today in the shortest summary possible. I think. I've struggled with depression, ADHD and anxiety my whole life. Growing up, I've had to teach myself how to be two-faced between my divorced parents. My households were emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive. I was constantly bullied by my sisters in my own home... My father had a son, which msde him my half brother. He was a light in my life I felt blessed to have. He was two years older, but was my best friend. He was the captain of the varsity basketball team and he was damn funny, With lots of friends. Completely opposite of me. Then on May 29th 2015.. My brother committed suicide. I was crushed. My father shortly began drinking, my sister seem to have plummeted more into drugs and I started ditching school, pushing away any friends I had. We were all impacted. Some more than others.
Moving on from that, a year passes. My senior year of high school is here. On Christmas Eve my grandmother fell and broke her hip. She was in the hospital till the middle of February. Due to lack of money I offered to move to her house and take care of her. I dropped out of my last second semester of high school and moved into her home. In the middle of nowhere. I didn't drive, however I did enroll in an independent schooling. It sucked. I was mainly spending my time cooking, cleaning and changing diapers for my grandmother. She was very depressed as she felt helpless. It tore me up inside to see her like that. I spent most of my time watching Gmod videos and playing PS3. I had a very bad computer so I could only really play League of Legends. I also played some otome games because I've always been a weeb. Around the very beginning of May my grandmother gave me some money to purchase a steam card. (I couldn't work because my grandmother was basically a full-time job and she lived in the middle of nowhere, and I couldn't drive) with the steam card I purchased Garry's Mod. About the first server I joined it was dinklebergs prop hunt. There I met Noah, wingwang, stonercat and kitty. I started playing more and more and quickly became attached. I began helping out with ghosters, trolls, etc. I was offered the position of tmod and within a month i got it. (Dink was basically dead) I spent about 150 hours a week on the server. It was my second home. In june, I started becoming active on the ttt server as well. I made good friends with lycan, Gragle, Saltine, fastazzpanda, saltaboose, christian, hiddenblade, Dalek and even rippe.
This is where things started going downhill for me. As i became so stuck at where i was, feeling trapped in a house for weeks at a time without going outside, watching my grandnothers health deteriorate, and my depression at its all time high... I turned to my grandmothers pain pills. I would take 6 20mg of hydrocodone almost every night. I needed something to numb the pain and it did just that. It gave me a sense of peace and euphoria. It shut it all out. I became more irritable, depressed and completely destroyed my sleep schedule. My depression was worse as I felt suicidal and at one point begged my mother to let me back before I ended up killing myself. My mother told me to think of my grandmother and refused to help me. During this time I still played on dinks. In fact, I got trusted on ttt. Then later on admin in PH. Despite what I was struggling with behind the scenes. Time went on, i still abused the pills. Then on july 17th, 2016 my grandmother was feeling sick. She told me she couldnt breath and kept screaming she was sick. I rushed to get water, put on her oxygen and begged her what i should do. She got silent and looked as if she wa- Im not going to get into details as to this day I dont think I could stomach it. I panicked, called ththe ambulance and i waited for them to show up for 30 minutes. I gave my grandmother cpr for 30 minutes until they finally showed up. My uncle arrived and drove me to the hospital, telling me to grab papers she had locked up. I was in shock. My face felt swollen from the tears. They took us into a room and pronounced her dead. I completely broke. I moved back in with my mom later that night.
I began feeling withdrawals from the pain meds. Started caring less, felt constant pain and became increasingly more irritable. I became more toxic than ever before and got involved with a bad crowd. (Wont be getting into that) What started as a harmless joke,was pushed too far and I was banned because of it. Most of you know the story. It was a very controversial ban and some of it wasnt handled rproperly, which again I wont be getting into.
(I ended up finshing highschool btw)
None of this is an excuse. This is just something I may aswell put out there since im leaving anyways. This was how I came to be and my journeys behind the scenes on dinks. That is why I will always be an open minded person, We all have a story.
I hope the admins do the right thing with the recent bans and unban the worthy. This community has helped me more than you guys know and i'll always be grateful to the ones who were there alongside with me on late night dinks. Ive made many friends, lost many friends and found somebody i plan to love forever, and start a fresh life with.
Currently. I am getting a transfer at my job and moving. Where i can bug Link 24/7. Yay! I will also be focusing on my hobbies, like fish keeping. Cause im cool like that.
Anyways, goodbye farewell and keep in touch.
Also unban nopleez
Ritsuneru, signing out.
I want to start off by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my poor humor and how I have acted or lashed out. Whether you accept this apology, it is up to you. I will be taking my leave, as this place is no longer fit for me, and my life is going to be changing for the better. I want a fresh start. This will not be a Pity thread or attack thread. Simply reflect and goodbye thread. So good luck, and try to keep up cause this is gonna be a top tier shitpost of info.
I want to bring to you all how I came to be who I am today in the shortest summary possible. I think. I've struggled with depression, ADHD and anxiety my whole life. Growing up, I've had to teach myself how to be two-faced between my divorced parents. My households were emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive. I was constantly bullied by my sisters in my own home... My father had a son, which msde him my half brother. He was a light in my life I felt blessed to have. He was two years older, but was my best friend. He was the captain of the varsity basketball team and he was damn funny, With lots of friends. Completely opposite of me. Then on May 29th 2015.. My brother committed suicide. I was crushed. My father shortly began drinking, my sister seem to have plummeted more into drugs and I started ditching school, pushing away any friends I had. We were all impacted. Some more than others.
Moving on from that, a year passes. My senior year of high school is here. On Christmas Eve my grandmother fell and broke her hip. She was in the hospital till the middle of February. Due to lack of money I offered to move to her house and take care of her. I dropped out of my last second semester of high school and moved into her home. In the middle of nowhere. I didn't drive, however I did enroll in an independent schooling. It sucked. I was mainly spending my time cooking, cleaning and changing diapers for my grandmother. She was very depressed as she felt helpless. It tore me up inside to see her like that. I spent most of my time watching Gmod videos and playing PS3. I had a very bad computer so I could only really play League of Legends. I also played some otome games because I've always been a weeb. Around the very beginning of May my grandmother gave me some money to purchase a steam card. (I couldn't work because my grandmother was basically a full-time job and she lived in the middle of nowhere, and I couldn't drive) with the steam card I purchased Garry's Mod. About the first server I joined it was dinklebergs prop hunt. There I met Noah, wingwang, stonercat and kitty. I started playing more and more and quickly became attached. I began helping out with ghosters, trolls, etc. I was offered the position of tmod and within a month i got it. (Dink was basically dead) I spent about 150 hours a week on the server. It was my second home. In june, I started becoming active on the ttt server as well. I made good friends with lycan, Gragle, Saltine, fastazzpanda, saltaboose, christian, hiddenblade, Dalek and even rippe.
This is where things started going downhill for me. As i became so stuck at where i was, feeling trapped in a house for weeks at a time without going outside, watching my grandnothers health deteriorate, and my depression at its all time high... I turned to my grandmothers pain pills. I would take 6 20mg of hydrocodone almost every night. I needed something to numb the pain and it did just that. It gave me a sense of peace and euphoria. It shut it all out. I became more irritable, depressed and completely destroyed my sleep schedule. My depression was worse as I felt suicidal and at one point begged my mother to let me back before I ended up killing myself. My mother told me to think of my grandmother and refused to help me. During this time I still played on dinks. In fact, I got trusted on ttt. Then later on admin in PH. Despite what I was struggling with behind the scenes. Time went on, i still abused the pills. Then on july 17th, 2016 my grandmother was feeling sick. She told me she couldnt breath and kept screaming she was sick. I rushed to get water, put on her oxygen and begged her what i should do. She got silent and looked as if she wa- Im not going to get into details as to this day I dont think I could stomach it. I panicked, called ththe ambulance and i waited for them to show up for 30 minutes. I gave my grandmother cpr for 30 minutes until they finally showed up. My uncle arrived and drove me to the hospital, telling me to grab papers she had locked up. I was in shock. My face felt swollen from the tears. They took us into a room and pronounced her dead. I completely broke. I moved back in with my mom later that night.
I began feeling withdrawals from the pain meds. Started caring less, felt constant pain and became increasingly more irritable. I became more toxic than ever before and got involved with a bad crowd. (Wont be getting into that) What started as a harmless joke,was pushed too far and I was banned because of it. Most of you know the story. It was a very controversial ban and some of it wasnt handled rproperly, which again I wont be getting into.
(I ended up finshing highschool btw)
None of this is an excuse. This is just something I may aswell put out there since im leaving anyways. This was how I came to be and my journeys behind the scenes on dinks. That is why I will always be an open minded person, We all have a story.
I hope the admins do the right thing with the recent bans and unban the worthy. This community has helped me more than you guys know and i'll always be grateful to the ones who were there alongside with me on late night dinks. Ive made many friends, lost many friends and found somebody i plan to love forever, and start a fresh life with.
Currently. I am getting a transfer at my job and moving. Where i can bug Link 24/7. Yay! I will also be focusing on my hobbies, like fish keeping. Cause im cool like that.
Anyways, goodbye farewell and keep in touch.
Also unban nopleez
Ritsuneru, signing out.
![[Image: frieren-fall-winter.jpeg]](https://otakuusamagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/frieren-fall-winter.jpeg)
![[Image: J6yUs0g]](https://imgur.com/J6yUs0g)
![[Image: tumblr_ne6mgl5MRJ1s3ci0uo1_500.gif]](http://66.media.tumblr.com/152741e1f406c102ec2ee6316d54dee4/tumblr_ne6mgl5MRJ1s3ci0uo1_500.gif)
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/HLpTRnAToI4py/giphy.gif)
![[Image: Screenshot_105.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/500323906607906827/616124790805102592/Screenshot_105.png)
![[Image: badminconfirmed.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/541839772306505748/617547703219519488/badminconfirmed.png)
![[Image: HnEK_NzpRryYh2n8cYzpDg.png]](https://image.prntscr.com/image/HnEK_NzpRryYh2n8cYzpDg.png)
