11-04-2021, 10:06 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-04-2021, 10:07 PM by chelllman. Edited 1 time in total.)
I've been debating for a few hours now whether or not to make this post. I have very little interaction with the TTT community, and therefore my knowledge of this past week's events is limited. However, I think more good can come from this than harm.
From an outsider's perspective (after reading Scoovie's comment), it's clear to me that you felt you were backed into a corner (so to speak) and had no other option but to make the post you did. It's clear that there is a divide amongst the staff as to whether that was the right decision. I feel that this divide primarily stems from the way the contents of the post were presented, not the fact that you made the post. In your app, you state that you believe you handled the situation to the best of your ability and therein lies the problem: you lack practice with argument (and this is not your fault).
There is a great book (relatively short, like 200 pages) called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie that I believe is the most important book you could ever read. If you'd like a copy, I can send you a PDF copy. It goes into detail how simply rephrasing the contents of your message changes how others perceive it, talks about arguing from states of heightened emotion, dealing with sensitive topics in argument, etc. I think you should give this book a try. The contents of your message to the TTT admins could have been completely restructured to be more constructive and definitely less divisive. I don't fault you for the way you wrote your community message: you were clearly frustrated, annoyed, possibly even angry. This clearly leaked into your message.
Remember, it's always a good idea to address others from a state of CCC: calm, cool, and collected. Personally, if I feel I need to write a particularly...tough...email, I write it and revisit it later when I'm in a different emotional state. Another thing you could do is ask others to review your message before you send/post it.
In short:
I don't think you posted your message with the intention to cause drama. You saw what you thought was unjust occur, and sought to rectify the situation in the best way you thought you could. However, you clearly did so in not the best mental state, which is where your mistake lies.
Should you feel you need to make such a post in the future, you are always welcome to message me to look at it first.
Message to others that want to post:
Let's avoid rehashing the same comments over and over. Either provide something constructive, or put your +/- and leave it at that. Too many apps devolve into personal attacks without any constructive value, and I don't want that to start here.
From an outsider's perspective (after reading Scoovie's comment), it's clear to me that you felt you were backed into a corner (so to speak) and had no other option but to make the post you did. It's clear that there is a divide amongst the staff as to whether that was the right decision. I feel that this divide primarily stems from the way the contents of the post were presented, not the fact that you made the post. In your app, you state that you believe you handled the situation to the best of your ability and therein lies the problem: you lack practice with argument (and this is not your fault).
There is a great book (relatively short, like 200 pages) called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie that I believe is the most important book you could ever read. If you'd like a copy, I can send you a PDF copy. It goes into detail how simply rephrasing the contents of your message changes how others perceive it, talks about arguing from states of heightened emotion, dealing with sensitive topics in argument, etc. I think you should give this book a try. The contents of your message to the TTT admins could have been completely restructured to be more constructive and definitely less divisive. I don't fault you for the way you wrote your community message: you were clearly frustrated, annoyed, possibly even angry. This clearly leaked into your message.
Remember, it's always a good idea to address others from a state of CCC: calm, cool, and collected. Personally, if I feel I need to write a particularly...tough...email, I write it and revisit it later when I'm in a different emotional state. Another thing you could do is ask others to review your message before you send/post it.
In short:
I don't think you posted your message with the intention to cause drama. You saw what you thought was unjust occur, and sought to rectify the situation in the best way you thought you could. However, you clearly did so in not the best mental state, which is where your mistake lies.
Should you feel you need to make such a post in the future, you are always welcome to message me to look at it first.
Message to others that want to post:
Let's avoid rehashing the same comments over and over. Either provide something constructive, or put your +/- and leave it at that. Too many apps devolve into personal attacks without any constructive value, and I don't want that to start here.
