[reina]

i'm editing this post because, while i do still stand by my own words about how coco and other women in the community are often spoken to, i understand how overwhelming and disheartening that conversation must have been for hoy after learning more about their perspective. i want to clarify that i do still believe that this thread was unnecessary and did nothing to help the situation. the only thing that helped me see hoy's perspective was a screenshot of their own words.  

to hoy, i'm sorry for how i went about that discussion. i should have made an effort to foster a healthy discourse about an issue i've seen a lot of women dealing with in this community. instead, i branched off from a point i made about hoy's message directly into a discussion about how this community often treats women like children, without taking care to distance that conversation from my point about their message. as a result of a miscommunication i caused by doing this, hoy was repeatedly singled out, making them feel too uncomfortable to remain on the server. i still believe coco was being spoken to unfairly when people were telling her that she should have been more careful, but i don't think hoy deserved to be the center of the discussion that followed. i hope that this situation won't discourage people wanting to take part in healthier discussions about community issues in the future.