[voidzz]

I'm not gunning for an unban either, ideally a reduction. I don't expect to be around gmod closer to/after 2023 starts.
For everyone addressing the quick change from my staff to post staff, here's how I saw it at the time: I joined the staff team hoping to make a change, I had seen it as mostly a circlejerk, and I had witnessed staff that were lenient to rules when it came to regarding their friends etc. I was hoping to make a change, thus I joined the staff team.
I did enjoy my time as staff overall, however I realized that the system did not have much hope for change, and like I've told many people before, it seems like it's just a circle of people who feed off of each other and are either enablers or just guard each other no matter what. The biggest issue I saw as staff was the lack of consistency, the rules were set however bans etc were set according to moderator desires, not including the occasional admin approval. My turning point was when I had witnessed a mod (this person is no longer mod) bait a guest into asking to be permabanned, and when the guest had actually asked after being provoked and baited by the mod, the mod delivered the swiftest ban I had ever seen, as this mod was really triggered by the guest etc. I'm not a man of recording, but I'm not a man of lying.
Once I realized that the circle could not be broken, I was planning on giving up staff, until Wrom came around. I fully intended to stay staff when Wrom had joined the server, as I knew that he would be the next staff member, and I planned on training him. However, the admins suggested that I reapply (which I didn't want to) to keep trusted, so naturally I let my rank go. From there, I resorted to a more relaxed, with a bit of trolling behavior. With this, came severe backlash by certain staff, who had always had something against me, and led to an increase in naughty behavior. Moving on from that though, I had started to notice inconsistencies in staffing, such as rules and the staff guidelines not being followed, they were more rather used when convenient. So, as I started in the Kansas ban request, I was pretty darn heavy on throwing the rulebook at the staff. I believe that the staff guidelines are made to be followed, even if the word itself is "guide". I believe staff discretion at a whole shouldn't really be a thing unless its admin discretion, then it comes into other hands. It's a given that I do not like many staff on the server, however I did not go out of my way to make it difficult for individuals, staffing is something VERY easy and I have done it multiple times on full servers alone, too many people take it seriously as if it is their job. With this though, there are also many staff who do not like me, so everything I did was watched under a microscope, and given this, this ultimately led to my 2 week ban, which resulted from a guest complaint of racism saying he wasn't donating because I was a "racist" user on the server, and from a clip of me slur baiting as a joke. Yes, it is too late to appeal the 2 week and that is the probable route that I should have taken, however when an admin told me he personally approved it to be two weeks I figured it wasn't even worth a shot. This is a word jumble and I'll organize it somehow.

I'm not excusing my behavior in any means. It was wrong, the trolling got a little bit excessive for some people who would have preferred not to handle it, and the alt evading was definitely a no-go, I knew better, especially as KaptainLes said because I was staff. I do believe that staff are also able to provide the most accurate criticisms as well, being formerly on the inside of it and seeing potential flaws. I do apologize for my behavior with the excessive trolling and the alt evading, and like I had said earlier and Jammin had noticed too, if I get a reduction I will return on better behavior for sure, like I had the two weeks prior to my permanent ban.

Also, I understand that the community ban idea is an extreme, however I do see it as a possible option depending on what the admins see fit. I'm not the one calling the shots, but if the admins see it fit it would make sense to give an option that positively reinforces the good behavior that I have to have, as if I don't follow through it would be a swift and pretty easy community ban. (Applies for reduction as well)

TLDR: My decline occurred as I resigned and basically got into conflicts w staff who did not like me and vice versa and threw the rule book at them as they didn't know simple rules even at higher positions. Including the occasional staff member who baited me through csay at least 5+ times in a 20+ pop server to say another slur so he would ban me for a length longer than what the guidelines had said as well.

[Ryzif]

If you got addicted/obsessed with Gmod in general then we would be doing you a kindness to not give you the ability to develop that unhealthy habit again. In other words, keep you banned. Who would dare give a recovering alcoholic a bottle of booze?

You also reference it's cringe to alt evade? Your whole behavior was "cringe" after you stepped down from staff. I'm not going to bother repeating what Kap'n has already said (even though I fully agree with it) but you didn't really bring anything positive to the server that I can say we need. You were just an edgelord troll and that's that. I feel like you've burned through your chances. Before you stepped down you were at the very minimum tolerable and somewhat fun. 

"I am also willing to agree to a compromise in which I am unbanned with the expectation of good behavior overall, with the deal that if I violate some rules in a mass form again or cause major issues, I'd be community banned. I believe this would be reasonable." - Winter (3)

Also, you don't really have the option of compromise. You don't get what you want. It's a perma ban until decided otherwise.  

- 1 to reduction and unban.

I just saw what was posted as I was writing this and although I'm not really going to address it because I'm tired I will say one thing. If you feel there are changes to be made, then resigning and becoming some racist, edgy troll is certainly not the way to do it. 

[thunderwalrusinnthebar]

The thing is as far as I know you and me never had an issue. You still went out of your way to fuck with me when I was on. It was legit exhausting staffing with you on at some points. I get being angry, but at the end of the day we are on the server to have fun, staff included, and I fail to see why you would come on all the time just to rage. It's not at all healthy for anybody and I honestly don't see why we should let that continue. I'd be okish with a reduction if I felt that your actions are just in the past, but I don't really get that feeling off of you.

[Foxka]

-1 you are continuing to blame staff for your own actions and if you think my team is a huge circle jerk then you're in complete denial as I think I am one prime example of the opposite of that. You don't seem to want to own up and genuinely apologize for the shit flinging you did and that alone is not worth you coming back, let alone your addiction to being a gmod troll.

You were one of my favorite members of the community and then flipped a switch or something and became my least favorite by far. I want you to better your own mental health and behavior and I think keeping you banned for a little bit longer is a good start to you rebuilding your trust with not just myself but also the community as a whole.p

And don't be mad that I'm being harsh, I know I am.

[MiniMe]

I don’t think I personally ever had a problem with you, but I do have to agree that you sorta went off towards the end of your stay, however I will +1 I reduction. As someone who has been banned for alt evasion before I know how it is, gmod sometimes just feels like one of the only fun games and great community to mess around with, I do hope to see you again sometime soon, hopefully within 6 months, but the best to you, and don’t be too bad of a troll when you come back <3

[Wrom]

I know I said I would revisit this tomorrow but i've been thinking all night and how I feel about it I will not support a full unban how ever I will support a reduction. That way you have just a bit more time to clear your head and think about things and how you want to come back. Please don't take this personally I like you as a Person but the way things went about just wasn't the best Good luck and hope I get to see you back :) +1 For Reduction

[voidzz]

-1 you are continuing to blame staff for your own actions /snip

This is what I am trying to get across, that there is some correlation, however there is never causation. I cannot blame staff as the direct cause for my actions, they were not. At the end of the day, behaviors were performed by me, not by anybody else, so there is no one to blame but myself on these actions. In hindsight, of course I regret my actions as they got me banned, and I do admit they were wrong, and that I do apologize for them.
I did go off the deep end towards the end (besides the last two weeks) and I acknowledge that, and it's something I'm not proud of either, however it's not something I anticipate happening ever again, whether or not there is any form of reduction. 

Most people are focusing on the fact that they believe I got on every day to troll and ruin staff members lives, however in the last two weeks of my stay that was very clearly not true, even after I was unbanned originally on winter. I didn't get on gmod for the game but rather for the friends I had on the server. Even since my first ban my behavior has been better, and that ban was back in Feb already. It's a guarantee that I would return (assuming a reduction is granted) on better behavior, such as the final two weeks.

Sorry if I'm not replying to everyone individually, I don't want to flood the thread with replies as I also don't know who necessarily wants to be replied to. If someone wants me to respond to their post regarding my actions or other things, please edit the post and leave a comment in there to do so. 

One thing I will openly deny is people claiming that I am racist, I never have been and never will be. If we consider slur baiting to be the absolute determinant on if someone is racist/homophobic etc, that's a pretty poor standard.

I know I can do better as a person, especially given the life developments and etc. that I've had lately. I want to be able to prove this to the community, that I am no longer the troll that I was for a bit.

[jax]

i dont see how one unban is at all a precedent. a precedent we have actually set is the mass ban with 3 reports but that happened many times not just once

Even if it happens once, it's still a precedent.

[RussEfarmer]

the ban you evaded was a 2 week "continued racism" ban and you barely mentioned that in your appeal... I literally don't care about alt evasion, we all get it, it's bad, but not explaining the racism thing at all is pretty cringe and gives me the message that you didn't think it was a big deal

[Dirtypizza]

To preface, I'm not going to leave any explicit verdict on whether you should be unbanned or have your ban reduced. Instead, I will try to relate to you for a bit. 

I remember when I first started playing Dinkleberg's TTT. I was 13. Like you, I used to play for hours everyday. I'd come home from school and play a solid eight hours until my eyes were burning and bloodshot. As a young person, I was highly impressionable, which lead to a lot of unacceptable behavior on my part, such as slurring, trolling, exploiting, etc. It got to the point where some of this started to bleed through into my real life, which was unacceptable. My bad behavior continued through becoming a T-Mod, as at the time, a lot of these behaviors weren't enforced like they are now. 

Getting banned was probably one of the best things to happen to me. I have no idea what kind of degenerate I would be if I wasn't. In the 3 years I was banned, I spent most of the time I'd spend on gmod on things like school, lifting weights, getting my pilot's license, preparing for college, real life relationships, etc. Yeah, it sucked not being able to hang out with the people I liked in the community, but it was for the better. 

Now, ask yourself this: What kind of person do you think you'll be 5 years from now if come back vs. not. Is that somebody you'll feel proud of? Assuming you were unbanned, do you think you'd be able to resist playing as many hours a week as you were previously? Would you be able to treat other players with respect (including staff) and turn the other cheek when somebody says something you don't like?

I say all of this out of a place of compassion, as I've been in your shoes. Even now as I type this, I have myself banned for 4 weeks to focus on this last month of school as I was playing way too much and it was affecting my grades. This game should be secondary to real life, and I hope you keep that in mind if you are ever unbanned. I've never personally had any bad experiences with you, and I think you're a nice person underneath all of the trolling/edginess. Regardless of the outcome of this unban request, I extend my best wishes to you.