[jax]

Unfiltered harassment of women is ridiculously common in this community. I remember, as far back as 2019, arguing with Proper and a female (now-former) staff member because I was being harassed and then called sensitive/told to mute them. I came back 2 years later to the exact same treatment and response from staff, and now this community's gmod servers just aren't fun unless I'm drunk and in a call with people who won't be fucking gross. 

Rather than just writing harassment of women in the community off as jokes or telling female/feminine-presenting players and staff members that they should get over it, higher staff should start listening to those players and staff members so that women stop getting fed up and resigning or leaving the community on a regular basis. The common denominator in this high turnover rate of female staff and female members is male guests and male members of this community, yet nothing is being done because it's "just gamer humor".

It would be so, so easy to just say, "do not make sexual remarks towards other players or staff members without their explicit consent," but for some reason that STILL hasn't been added to the rules on any servers, as far as I can tell. There is absolutely no reason for Lemon to have to sit there and listen to male players say shit like "benny told me he gon eat yo ass out and fuk u like a human pretzel". I don't give a fuck if it's a "joke" or "gamer humor", that's just sexual harassment and she shouldn't have to deal with it while trying to do her job on the server-- or ever. 

Stop prioritizing male players over female players and staff. One group's fun should not be at the expense of a single person.

To compound to this, I've noticed a fucked up trend on the server where when it comes to dealing with women - as friends, as staff, as members of the community - a good portion of the server doesn't really know how to act. This is evident when a girl/woman uses her mic on TTT, the sudden shift in temperament of the men on the server is hilariously obvious.

This usually takes the form of targeted RDM, targeted talking (people will hyperfocus on the girl), saying crude shit etc. Sometimes it's because they're socially inept and think speaking to a female means you have to belittle them, sometimes it's genuine misogyny, and sometimes its just misplaced attempt at humor. Whatever the reason, it does get swept under the rug quite often and dismissed as a non-issue. It's unfortunate that we're losing Lemon since she does bring a much-needed female perspective, and she was good at what she did.

Reina highlights an excellent point in regards to "do not make sexual remarks towards other players or staff members without their explicit consent," This is the important distinction. For example, Reina and I often shit talk and make derogatory remarks to eachother, but the nuance is that we both have agreed to it, and know it's all in good fun. However, I've seen first hand Reina tell someone that they were making her uncomfortable, and nothing be done about it, and it actually continue.

You can't teach social cues, and you can't teach people how to properly speak to women (the fact you have to is laughable). However, we can do a better job preventing *legitimate* harassment from occurring in the future through more genuine moderation. (This doesn't mean doing a 180 a doing blanket ban on shitposting / bantering)