[reinaberg]

i bought shoes from a drug dealer once. i don't know what he laced them with, but i was tripping all day.

[Damien]

How do computers get drunk? they take screenshots. 

[slater]

One day, a patient came up to a doctor for help and asked... 
"Doctor, I need your help. I'm addicted to checking my Twitter!"
The doctor replied with, 'I'm so sorry, I don't follow."

[Gabe]

What do you call another deer with no legs? Still No-eyed deer.

[Damien]

Liquor? I hardly knew her!

[Damien]

If Quizzes are Quizzical... then what are tests??

[reinaberg]

Liquor? I hardly knew her!

you can't get mad at me for this anymore or i'm banning you from the forums

[Chris Farley]

You’ve heard of Murphy’s law, right? It’s anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Well have you heard of Cole’s law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage