[bunniey]

I think I've somewhat flipped sides on this. I, somewhat uniquely, have about 8000 backup names if mine is taken so my perspective was a bit skewed since I don't care much. It's not ideal either way, but perhaps at least asking the guest first would be best. Probably asking both privately, then just explaining to the guest if neither will change. I'd wager most people would actually be pretty cordial, albeit downtrodden, about it, and if someone throws a fit...that says a lot.