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I am proper ya ya ya proper proper ya ya
#1
This appeal is on behalf of proper, she's having troubles getting signed into the forums. Rand approved, just go with it, respond as if you're responding to her. 

Your Discord Username: prroper

Your Discord User ID: 159489412550492161

Giselle Case Number: idk, my DMs are private so I never got one from the bot ([color=oklab(0.916475 0.00734788 0.000303688)]1255 -Rand)[/color]

Ban Length: Permanent
 
Appeal Type: Explanation

Previous Unban Requests: I was previously permanently banned for about 4 years from the discord and I appealed it successfully earlier last year, I think February or March

What would you like to tell us: (I tried to make a forums account but it wouldn’t let me so Rand is making this on my behalf, ty Rand)
I want to start out my appeal by talking about my state of mind and my perspective of what happened and has happened since my forums account was deleted. Please bear with me, and feel free to skip further down if you want. I want to also clarify that I am not saying these things for any sort of pity whatsoever, as I’ve previously been accused of doing in appeals. I think it’s important to understand what I was thinking and feeling when I made the decisions I did, and I will explain why.
I really didn’t want to appeal this ban at all, honestly. I asked Gabe to completely purge my account and all of my threads and posts last year before he resigned as the forum admin in an effort to get away from what happened. (Thank u sm Gabe i love u) I’m still not even certain about appealing it because the thought of it makes me want to throw up. I spent several months last year waking up with my heart racing and anxiously checking my phone. I’d spend all day just glued to my phone, constantly checking Discord servers and refreshing chats and the forums in an effort to be 100% aware of everything that was happening at all times. It fucking sucked. It was taking me away from my irl relationships and events, and it was so fucking detrimental to my health. After a certain point, I started suffering from flashbacks due to the nature of discussions being had both in private and on the forums. For context, these flashbacks are a symptom of PTSD that I was diagnosed with in 2021, and were not flashbacks related to gmod. I ended up pulling away from a lot of my friends and tried to isolate myself in an effort to recover from the damage I was doing to myself mentally.
I started playing consistently again in May of this year, and I was really nervous to start showing up more often because I thought that everyone would remember what happened the year before and hate me for it. This unfortunately did happen twice, but overall I was having a wonderful time. I reconnected with old friends and made a lot of new friends, and I was honestly having a lot of fun. Regardless of this though, I still didn’t want to recreate my forum account, and I was content avoiding the Discord and the forums if it meant peace of mind. But I really do like this community and the people in it, and I want to give myself the opportunity to at least try to right some wrongs, even if it doesn’t work out in my favor.

I really don’t want to re-hash this shit, but I will address what I did wrong that led to me getting banned: I made a very serious accusation against someone, an accusation that should only be made with 100% proof and certainty, and I was wrong. It was a very, very, big mistake, and I regret it literally every single day.
I know a lot of people from back then believe I made this accusation in bad faith in order to “get rid” of someone I simply didn’t like, and I don’t blame them for believing that. There was zero communication between myself and a lot of the people who were friends with this individual, and it was easy for both them and myself to get stuck in an echo chamber where the opposite party was 100% wrong, evil, and would take the other person down at any cost. Making this kind of accusation and it ending up false is heinous.
I can’t say enough how sorry I am to those I dragged into my mess, both friends and other community members who believed me. I’ve felt so much shame for my actions since the moment I found out that my accusation was false. It falls solely on me for making an accusation of this nature so carelessly.
My intent was NEVER to lie about it. This is a topic I take incredibly seriously, and I’m angry at myself for my recklessness. I wholeheartedly believed that I was told something heinous had occurred, and I did send it to the admins at the time so they could do their own investigation. (Without digging into details, I was told something by a third party from a long time ago that led me to believe that this accusation was 100% accurate, which is still purely my mistake for relying on old information that could be (and was) false) Afterwards, though, I heard nothing. I felt like I was being ignored, and I felt that my concerns were worthless to them. In my impatience and frustration, both at completely unrelated drama that had been unfolding parallel to this as well as my perceived inaction of the admins, I brought the accusation to the forums and to the Discord. This was my mistake, and a grave one. I regret my actions immensely, and I am so sorry to everyone. I am grateful to the admin team at the time for being understanding of my honest intent and not fully community banning me for this. Thank you.
Since these events that I caused and the ensuing blowup that ended up lasting for months, I’ve had to take a lot of time to myself and away from Dink’s and Dink’s-related places in order to process the shit I had done. I feel so much shame and guilt all the time for my mistake. It was my responsibility to make sure that I was being 100% accurate and truthful, and I completely fucked up. I failed my friends and the people that trusted me, and I made it harder for actual victims of this accusation to come forward in the future. I’ll carry this shame with me for the rest of my life.

I know it’s a stretch to appeal this ban, but I sincerely do love the people that play here. I am confident that I will not make these mistakes ever again, if for no other reason than because of the permanent toll that I’ve taken on myself for my wrongdoings. Even if I am not unbanned, I’m grateful that I can speak about this and start to put this behind me, even a little bit. My mistakes have weighed heavily on me for a long time, and I really want to make it right. Thank you for reading the whole thing to those who did.
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[Image: Ou4SQyk.jpeg]
#2
free proper
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#3
+1 for unban
#4
+1 i think its pretty apparent how she’s grown as a person over the past year even if shes still mean to me
#5
+1
#6
Post seems to show genuine remorse; while I wasn't around for what happened, I can assume from context clues. Sounds like the ban did its job and you seem to be aware of the behavior that caused it and you will prevent yourself from acting the same way next time.

+1 for Discord unban
#7
I'll preface this by saying while I am likely associated with an "opposite party" as mentioned, if that makes any difference. 

I think it shows a lot of accountability to own her actions. I can tell she knows she caused some people a lot of hurt, and can even understand if they don't want to forgive (whether they're around here or not)- but that is for those people to bring up here if they so desire. Personally, I think an unban would be a good chance for her to prove she wants to take that accountability and leave this as something in the past. I haven't been super active but she's been on since a few times I've played and she's been fun those times. I also haven't had any directly poor interactions with her individually to memory either. 

+1
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#8
+1 I forgive proper and hope others can too
Will you halt this eclipse in me?
#9
+1 free prop
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#10
This appeal has been accepted.

What you did is unacceptable, but you seem genuinely remorseful and it's been over a year and you've been on the server plenty. There are concerns over whether or not something not quite that big but still dramatic can stem, so try to temper that down.

I talked to you a bit in private getting into the nitty gritty of it, but tl;dr for transparency sake, you'll be unbanned with 24 warn points applied, so anything done will result in a month-long ban until those can be appealed (two twelve point warns, one appealable in a month, one appealable in three)

Tow the line, please, you're pleasant to be around and the energy is usually pretty solid when y'all are on.
[Image: ElF1wvm.png]
[Image: Ou4SQyk.jpeg]


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